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Go’n be coming in a few minutes. Coming round that bend down there full speed. And I’m go’n get out my handkerchief and wave it down, and we go’n get on it and go.

I keep on looking for it, but Mama don’t look that way no more. She’s looking down the road where we just come from. It’s a long old road, and far’s you can see you don’t see nothing but gravel. You got dry weeds on both sides, and you got trees on both sides, and fences on both sides, too. And you got cows in the pastures and they standing close together. And when we was coming out here to catch the bus I seen the smoke coming out of the cows’s noses.

I look at my mama and I know what she’s thinking. I been with Mama so much, just me and her, I know what she’s thinking all the time. Right now it’s home—Auntie and them. She’s thinking if they got enough wood—if she left enough there to keep them warm till we get back. She’s thinking if it go’n rain and if any of them go’n have to go out in the rain. She’s thinking ’bout the hog—if he go’n get out, and if Ty and Val be able to get him back in. She always worry like that when she leaves the house. She don’t worry too much if she leave me there with the smaller ones, ’cause she know I’m go’n look after them and look after Auntie and everything else. I’m the oldest and she say I’m the man.

I look at my mama and I love my mama. She’s wearing that black coat and that black hat and she’s looking sad. I love my mama and I want put my arm round her and tell her. But I’m not supposed to do that. She say that’s weakness and that’s crybaby stuff, and she don’t want no crybaby round her. She don’t want you to be scared, either. ’Cause Ty’s scared of ghosts and she’s always whipping him. I’m scared of the dark, too, but I make ’tend I ain’t. I make ’tend I ain’t ’cause I’m the oldest, and I got to set a good sample for the rest. I can’t ever be scared and I can’t ever cry. And that’s why I never said nothing ’bout my teeth. It’s been hurting me and hurting me close to a month now, but I never said it. I didn’t say it ’cause I didn’t want act like a crybaby, and ’cause I know we didn’t have enough money to go have it pulled. But, Lord, it been hurting me. And look like it wouldn’t start till at night when you was trying to get yourself little sleep. Then soon ’s you shut your eyes—ummm-ummm, Lord, look like it go right down to your heartstring.

“Hurting, hanh?” Ty’d say.

I’d shake my head, but I wouldn’t open my mouth for nothing. You open your mouth and let that wind in, and it almost kill you.

I’d just lay there and listen to them snore. Ty there, right ’side me, and Auntie and Val over by the fireplace. Val younger than me and Ty, and he sleeps with Auntie. Mama sleeps round the other side with Louis and Walker.

I’d just lay there and listen to them, and listen to that wind out there, and listen to that fire in the fireplace. Sometimes it’d stop long enough to let me get little rest. Sometimes it just hurt, hurt, hurt. Lord, have mercy.