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Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap;

Wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry;

Don’t walk barehead in the hot sun;

Cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil;

Soak your little cloths right after you take them off;

When buying cotton to make yourself a nice blouse, be sure that it doesn’t have gum on it, because that way it won’t hold up well after a wash;

Soak salt fish overnight before you cook it;

Is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?;

Always eat your food in such a way that it won’t turn someone else’s stomach;

On Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming;

Don’t sing benna in Sunday school;

You mustn’t speak to wharf-rat boys, not even to give directions;

Don’t eat fruits on the street – flies will follow you;

but i don’t sing benna on sundays at all and never in sunday school;

This is how to sew on a button;

This is how to make a button-hole for the button you have just sewed on;

This is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming;

This is how you iron your father’s khaki shirt so that it doesn’t have a crease;

This is how you iron your father’s khaki pants so that they don’t have a crease;

This is how you grow okra – far from the house, because okra tree harbors red ants;

When you are growing dasheen;, make sure it gets plenty of water or else it makes your throat itch when you are eating it;

This is how you sweep a corner;

This is how you sweep a whole house; this is how you sweep a yard;

This is how you smile to someone you don’t like too much;

This is how you smile to someone you don’t like at all;

This is how you smile to someone you like completely;

This is how you set a table for tea;

This is how you set a table for dinner;

This is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest;

This is how you set a table for lunch;

This is how you set a table for breakfast;

This is how to behave in the presence of men who don’t know you very well, and this way they won’t recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming;

Be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own spit; don’t squat down to play marbles – you are not a boy, you know;

Don’t pick people’s flowers – you might catch something;

Don’t throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not be a blackbird at all;

This is how to make a bread pudding;

This is how to make doukona;

this is how to make pepper pot;

This is how to make a good medicine for a cold;

This is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child;

This is how to catch a fish;

This is how to throw back a fish you don’t like, and that way something bad won’t fall on you;

This is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you;

This is how to love a man;

And if this doesn’t work there are other ways, and if they don’t work don’t feel too bad about giving up;

This is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move quick so that it doesn’t fall on you;

This is how to make ends meet;

Always squeeze bread to make sure it’s fresh;

but what if the baker won’t let me feel the bread?;

You mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won’t let near the bread?