Pigs is Pigs

Pigs is Pigs: Short story by Ellis Parker ButlerThis humorous story by Ellis Parker Butler illustrates how excessive bureaucracy can have dire consequences. A customer argues with a railway freight agent who claims that two guinea pigs he has been sent should be charged as common pigs (sixty cents) rather than pets (fifty cents). The customer leaves the pigs with the agent, planning to collect them after complaining to the freight company’s Head Office. By the time the matter is settled in the customer’s favour, the ten-cent dispute has almost brought the company to its knees. Themes include misinterpretation, stubbornness, bureaucracy gone awry.

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A Work of Art

A Work of Art: Short story by Anton ChekhovIn this Anton Chekhov story the mother of a man too poor to pay for treatment sends his doctor a gift in gratitude for saving his life. There is only one problem: the gift, an antique bronze candelabra, features statuettes of two naked women in a not safe for work or home pose. The doctor passes it on as an unwelcome gift to his lawyer, who in turn donates it at a benefit for an aspiring comic actor. Unfortunately for the doctor, the actor decides to sell it. Themes include gratitude, perception (the subjectivity of art appreciation), morality, appearance, coincidence.

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The Toxic Donut

The Toxic Donut: Short story by Terry BissonIn this story by Terry Bisson, a woman has been nominated from entries all over the world to represent humanity in an annual TV extravaganza. The focus of the show, set in the future and officiated over by world leaders, is Environmental Awareness. One of its features is a “Wonders of Science” film segment celebrating technology that can concentrate a whole year’s toxic wastes and pollutants into a single donut. In the finale, the donut for the previous year is presented to the world. The unwitting woman’s role is to eat it. Themes include environmentalism, science and technology, human sacrifice.

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A Shocking Accident

A Shocking Accident: Short story by Graham GreeneGraham Greene’s short stories span many genres, from the serious to the farcical. In this comedy, a boy rationalizes his widowed father’s long absences from home by convincing himself that he is a mysterious adventurer. In reality, his father is a restless author whose unlikely death in an Italian “street accident” becomes an embarrassment the lad must carry into adulthood. Things change when he falls in love with a woman who shares a similar concern for the fate of animals. Themes: father-son relationships, perception, the unpredictability of life/death, communicating bad news, fear of ridicule.

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The Money-Box

Seventh Grade: Short story by Gary SotoModern readers tend to associate W. W. Jacobs with tales of the macabre, such as his famous The Monkey’s Paw. What few realize is that most of his stories were humorous. His favorite subjects were ships and those who sail in them, and how tricksters take advantage of slow-witted villagers. In this story, two sailors tired of squandering their wages in the first few days ashore trust their pay to a very steady old teetotaler who agrees to give them a moderate amount each day. Needless to say, they soon regret the decision. Themes: money, irresponsibility, temperance, duty.

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The Lumber Room

The Lumber Room: Short story by H. H. Munro (Saki)This humorous story by Saki describes a clever but mischievous boy’s efforts to explore the wonders of his house’s off-limits-to-children lumber-room. [Not to be confused with planks of wood, the word “lumber” here is a British term for miscellaneous stored articles.] In disgrace for putting a frog in his breakfast bowl, the boy devises an elaborate plan to distract his strict aunt while in the forbidden room. His day gets even better when the suspicious woman falls into a rain-water tank and he tricks her into giving him cause to leave her there. Themes: mischief, curiosity, imagination, oppression, defiance

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The Love Potion

The Love Potion: Short story by Herman BosmanA major theme of this Herman Bosman story is the importance of tradition, myth and storytelling in the lives of Boer settlers. The narrator begins by asserting that everyone in the Marico knows that juba-berry juice can make a woman fall in love with a man. He then relates a tongue-in-cheek story of how he once “helped” a shy policeman use the juice to win a girl’s heart. The ambiguous ending leaves it unclear whether the potion really worked. Other themes: love, fear of rejection, superstition/magic vs. reality, morality (lack of respect for the girl and her right to decide).

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The Kugelmass Episode

The Kugelmass Episode: Short story by Woody AllenThis Woody Allen story includes elements of fantasy, science fiction and farce. Kugelmass, bored with his “oafish” wife, wants a lustful extra-marital affair with no commitments either way. His wish seemingly comes true when a failed magician offers him a chance to seduce any woman from world literature. His first choice begins well, but ends badly; his second proves disastrous. The story is a cutting satire of America’s 1970s ‘Me’ culture. Themes include psychological well-being, marital relationships and casual sex. Ironically, instead of “having” the affair he wanted, Kugelmass spends the rest of eternity running from hairy, long-legged Spanish “haves”.

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